


A New Happy Place

by DobbyRocksSocks



Series: IronShield [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Flashbacks, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining, Team is family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 11:49:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16095068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DobbyRocksSocks/pseuds/DobbyRocksSocks
Summary: Tony's happy place has always been his lab. Then he met Steve Rogers. With a few misunderstandings along the way, can Tony find an even happier happy place?





	A New Happy Place

Tony sat back in his seat, rubbing at his tired eyes. He knew he should leave the lab, that he should probably go and eat, and then get some sleep, but the idea of running into… people, was really turning him off the idea.

Still, after four days of solid work, he knew that he wasn’t safe to continue. Eyeing the sofa in the corner, he sighed to himself. 

He shouldn’t be hiding like this, he knew that. He was being a complete and utter coward, but really, what the hell else was he supposed to do. There was no way had Bucky not told Cap about their conversation, and there was  _ absolutely  _ no way was Tony going to suffer through a well-intentioned speech about why Steve could never and would never love him. 

That wasn’t about to happen anytime soon. 

Pushing himself to his feet, he steadied himself on the workbench when a wave of dizziness threatened to knock him to the floor, and then stumbled his way to the sofa. Slumping down against the soft, well-worn cushions, he closed his eyes. 

If only he’d been able to actually build a time machine, he’d go back… way back, and tell himself to save the heartache and not attend the movie night that Clint suggested, a few weeks after the Chitauri invasion. 

… 

_ They spread out on the sofas, each of them too tired to care about personal space or boundaries. Tony lay with his head on Clint’s shoulder and Natasha’s head in his lap, while Steve, Bruce, and Thor all huddled together on the slightly larger sofa.  _

_ “What are we watching?” Clint asked, his hand stroking through Tony’s hair.  _

_ Tony shrugged. “Whatever you want. Let Cap pick something from his list.”  _

_ Steve’s face lit up, and Tony smiled at him.  _

_ “Do we need popcorn?” Clint asked, and Tony snorted.  _

_ “Stupid question, Merida.”  _

_ “There’s no such thing as a stupid question,” Clint argued, tugging Tony’s hair lightly.  _

_ “You just asked if we need popcorn for movie night,” Tony replied dryly. “You just  _ proved  _ that there are stupid questions.”  _

_ “That’s… probably fair,” Clint acquiesced. “Better question, who’s getting up to get it.”  _

_ There was silence in the room for a long moment, before Steve laughed. “I’ll get it.”  _

_ The team chatted silently amongst themselves as they waited for their Captain. He didn’t take long to come back, handing out bowls of popcorn to the team.  _

_ He handed Tony’s over last, his lips quirking up in a half smile. “I made you salty popcorn because I know you’re not a fan of sweet.”  _

_ Tony blinked. “Marry me,” he murmured taking the offered bowl. Clint laughed, and Steve rolled his eyes, the smile turning into a grin.  _

_ “You haven’t even gotten me a ring, Stark, I’m hurt.”  _

_ “If you keep making me salty popcorn, I’ll buy you whatever ring you want.”  _

… 

Tony hadn’t even realised that he was in trouble at the time. He hadn’t thought spending a few hours with the team would pull him deeper into the family that they were building, hadn’t realised that the sight of Cap’s smile would be something that he began to crave, something that he started aiming for on the daily. 

Pulling his favourite moss green, cashmere blanket from the back of the sofa, Tony covered himself up, pulling it right up to his chin. The soft material was soothing on his bare arms. 

He closed his eyes, trying to empty his mind enough for him to finally get some rest, but it was to no avail. 

Steve, Steve, Steve, his mind seemed to be chanting. 

Images of that half smile that Tony loved, the sparkle in his eyes when he was being a little shit, the signs of pride after a battle well fought and well won by the team. 

Tony couldn’t help himself from thinking about the first time he’d known he was in trouble. 

… 

_ Steve’s birthday party was in full swing. Tony sat off to the side with Rhodey and Pepper, a tall glass of orange in front of him. This was the first real test to his sobriety since he’d sworn off of alcohol, and he was surprised how little it was bothering him.  _

_ Steve was talking and laughing with Clint across the bar, but he kept looking up, smiling when he met Tony’s eyes.  _

_ Tony raised his glass to the birthday boy before he turned back to listen to what Rhodey was talking about.  _

_ A couple of hours later, and Tony was debating the merits of calling in a favour with criminals to get him the hell out of the party. As people got steadily drunker, he got more frustrated.  _

_ Pepper left, and Rhodey was entertaining some of the other guests with drunken tales of Air Force life, so Tony had propped himself at the end of the bar, praying for the night to end already.  _

_ He saw Steve approaching from the corner of his eye. Maybe if he spoke to Steve, who couldn’t get drunk even if he wanted too, he could then beg off with a headache or something. Before Steve could reach him though, an inebriated woman slipped up beside him, her hand running over his shoulder.  _

_ Tony saw Steve’s face fall into disappointment and he snapped.  _

_ “I have this medical condition call Personal Space,” he snapped. “Back off, Blondie.”  _

_ She stomped away with an affronted expression, leaving Tony to roll his eyes. When he chanced a glance up at Steve, it was to see the man chewing on his lip to avoid laughing.  _

_ Tony grinned sheepishly at him, and Steve joined him at the bar, pressing their shoulders together. All thoughts of leaving left Tony’s mind.  _

…

It hadn’t been long after that party that word of Barnes being alive and being used as an assassin came to them, and the smiles tapered off Steve’s face, leaving behind frowns of worry and dull fear in his eyes. 

What else was Tony going to do but help him find his lost best friend? 

Even though he knew that as soon as they retrieved Bucky, Tony would lose Steve, he couldn’t stand to see the sadness on his handsome face. And so, Tony had done what he did best. 

He’d fixed things. 

… 

_ Tony knocked on the door to Steve’s rooms, feeling unreasonably nervous. He had no reason to be nervous, he’d done as Steve wanted him to do, right?  _

_ Right. So. No need to be nervous.  _

_ That didn’t account for the butterflies swarming in his stomach or the way his heart was trying to beat its way out of his chest.  _

_ Steve opened the door, looking tired and sad, and Tony felt a wave of compassion for the man.  _

_ “Everything okay?” Steve asked, stepping back to let Tony in.  _

_ Tony nodded, wringing his hands together.  _

_ “I, erm. Well. So.”  _

_ “Tony,” Steve interrupted, looking worried. “What’s wrong?”  _

_ “Nothing. Nothing is wrong. I just… I know how worried you’ve been about finding Barnes, and that you’ve been out and getting injured trying to find him and-”  _

_ “I can’t stop looking for him,” Steve murmured, running a hand through his hair. “I can’t give up on him, Tony, please don’t ask me too.”  _

_ “Ah, yeah, no that’s why I’m here. I’m not asking you to… I found him,” Tony blurted eventually. “I found him, and I fed him and let him shower, and he’s here. So. You don’t need to keep searching.”  _

_ “Tony…”  _

_ Steve stepped forward, embracing Tony tightly against his chest, his arms strong. When Tony felt his neck getting damp, he patted Steve’s shoulder and then rubbed at his back in what he hoped was a comforting way.  _

_ He wasn’t great at emotions, they made him itch.  _

_ “Tony, thank you. Thank you so much.”  _

_ “Of course,” Tony replied automatically, as they parted. “I… I’ll take you to see him.”  _

… 

Tony could still feel an echo of that hug when he thought about it hard enough. He tried not too, tried not to let himself sink so deeply into an abyss of want and fantasy, but it was hard. Those few moments of being wrapped up in Steve’s arms, of being surrounded by the comforting smell of him, were enough to cause an addiction in Tony. 

He’d always had an addictive personality, why should this be any different? 

Regardless of his own feelings, he’d backed off, unsure of his welcome and scared of rejection. He’d left Steve and Bucky to do the whole catching up thing, reacquainting themselves with one another, and he’d withdrawn into his world of work and tech and loneliness. 

They’d invited him to watch movies with them a few times, offered up food and the occasional trip out of the tower, but Tony had forced himself to refuse them all. He wasn’t about to set himself up for being the third wheel of that particular situation. 

The thought was painful enough that it felt like someone was trying to forcibly remove his arc reactor from his chest. 

Still, when Bucky had arrived at the lab, complaining about pain from his metal arm, Tony hadn’t been able to turn him away. After all he’d done to get Bucky back for Cap, he couldn’t very well allow the man to be distracted by pain, could he? 

And maybe he’d been itching to get a better look at that arm anyway. 

… 

_ Tony worked quietly, the music in the background filling the silence to keep the awkwardness to a minimum. Bucky sat perfectly still, his eyes taking in everything that Tony did on his arm.  _

_ “Stevie misses you, y’know. He said you’ve disappeared lately.”  _

_ Tony almost dropped his screwdriver. Glancing up at Bucky, he replied, “I’ve been busy is all. Besides, he’s got you back now, he’s no need for me.”  _

_ Bucky’s brow furrowed. “Tony… just because I’m here, doesn’t mean Steve doesn’t want to spend time with you too. It wasn’t a  _ trade.” 

_ “I know that,” Tony muttered. “I just mean… he can’t be bored when you’re with him, so he doesn’t need me to entertain him. And like I said, I’ve been busy.”  _

_ “Well, maybe you can come upstairs with me when this is done and we can all watch a movie?”  _

_ Tony shook his head, screwing the final plate back into place on the arm. “No can do, Buckaroo. I’ve got work to do.”  _

_ “Geniuses still gotta eat.”  _

_ “I… DUM-E fetches me smoothies. I’m fine.”  _

_ “Nutritious as I’m sure they are, you can’t live on coffee and smoothies. Come on, we’ll get a pizza.”  _

_ “I said no,” Tony snapped, sliding his chair across the floor. “I’m not going to be the pitied third wheel on a date made for two. Your arm’s done, you can go now.”  _

_ Far too much understanding dawned on Bucky’s face, and Tony cursed him quietly for being so perceptive. “Tony, Stevie and I, we’re not-”  _

_ “Get. Out.”  _

_ “Tony-”  _

_ “I said, Get out!” Tony shouted.  _

_ Bucky stood up, opened his mouth to talk and then closed it again, walking out of the lab.  _

_ “Lockdown, J.”  _

_ “Sir-”  _

_ “Lockdown. And mute.”  _

… 

That had been the conversation that had led to Tony hiding out in his lab, with it thoroughly locked down against anyone entering. He knew he couldn’t hide forever, he wasn’t stupid. But… for now… for now he could, because he didn’t know how to handle the rejection that was sure to come while remaining on the team. 

And the last thing he wanted was to leave the team. 

Finally drifting off to sleep, Tony didn’t see the lights on the door panel switching from the red of lockdown, to the green that would allow others entrance.  

If he had, he surely would’ve threatened JARVIS with community college and a rewrite of the AI’s coding. Later, when he realises what happened, he might do that anyway. 

Or he might thank his AI quietly.

… 

Steve looked down at the sleeping genius on the sofa, a fond look on his face. Even asleep, Tony looked exhausted. There were deep shadows under his eyes, and his hair was sticking up, creating a birds nest of a halo around the pale face. 

Shaking his head, Steve bent at the waist, slotting his arms carefully under Tony to lift him bridal style into his arms. It was a testament to how tired Tony was that he didn’t stir beyond tucking his face against Steve’s shoulder. 

Tony was usually a light sleeper. 

“You’re a bloody idiot,” he murmured quietly, carrying Tony from the lab and out into the elevator. JARVIS took him straight up to the penthouse, opening the doors silently for Steve as he passed through the hallway and into Tony’s bedroom. 

The sheets were already pulled back, so Steve gently set Tony on the bed and covered him up, carding his fingers through Tony’s hair gently as he pushed it back from his face. 

“JARVIS, let me know when he looks like he’s about to wake up, please,” Steve requested quietly, as he left the room. “Otherwise, he’ll just go straight back into hiding.” 

“Of course, Captain.” 

… 

Tony woke slowly, rolling to his back with a quiet groan. When he blinked his eyes open, he realised he was in his bed, and he had no memory of getting there. Frowning, he called for JARVIS. 

Before the AI could answer, a voice to his left spoke up, startling him. 

“I brought you up here,” Steve said quietly. “That sofa can’t be good for your back.” 

Tony raised a hand to his chest, his heart beating rapidly beneath it. “Jesus Christ, Steve! I have a heart condition!” 

Steve’s lips quirked up in a smile, and he apologised without looking even the slightest bit apologetic. It didn’t take long for him to sober though, and his smile fell away.  

“You’ve been avoiding me. I’ve been trying to get into the lab for days.” 

Tony sighed, propping himself into a sitting position with his back against the headboard. “Steve… can we not do this. Please. I just… I can live perfectly happily in my little pool of denial and I really don’t need you trying to be nice while you explain all the reasons why we can’t… be. So. Can we just not?” 

“If you’d spoken to me instead of locking yourself way, you’d already know that I have no intentions of rejecting you… even in a nice way,” Steve said gently. “When Bucky spoke to me the other day, it was because he knew I’d been working my way up to asking you on a date for months. If he thought… he wouldn’t have told me, if he thought there was a chance I wouldn’t be interested, Tony. Buck isn’t like that.” 

Tony stared, wide-eyed and mouth gaping open unattractively. “You… you can’t… you don’t want…” 

“I can, and I do,” Steve replied, tone fond as he watched Tony struggle with the new information. 

“But… Bucky… you and him… decades apart… thing,” Tony stumbled. 

“I love Buck, always have,” Steve said, his tone even and certain. “Always will. As a friend. He’s my best friend, Tony. My brother. The platonicest of platonic love there ever was.” 

“Platonicest isn’t a word.” 

“Is now.” 

Tony snorted. “So you and him… you’re really not…?” 

“We’re really not.”

“And you want…?” 

“You, yes. Very much.” 

“I… don’t know what to do with that,” Tony admitted, closing his eyes. 

Steve moved from the chair to the bed, sitting down beside Tony, facing him. He took Tony’s hand in both of his and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “You let me take you on a date. And you let me kiss you goodnight at the door; at least the first time. I want to do this right.” 

Tony could only nod silently, his hand tingling in Steve’s gentle hold. “I… I can do that.” 

Steve smiled the beautiful half smile that Tony had first fallen in love with. “I’ll pick you up at seven.” 

… 

_ Epilogue  _

Goosebumps trailed Tony’s arms and he grumbled about the cold, pulling one of Steve’s hoodies on before he slumped on the sofa in the common lounge. They’d only just gotten back from fighting Dr. Doom and his bots, and Tony was just done with the day. 

“Bloody criminals, they’ve got no manners. He could’ve waited until there wasn’t a snowstorm burying New York,” he grumbled, making Clint and Nat, who were seating themselves on the other sofa, laugh softly. 

Bruce arrived next, still wearing his coat, and slumped into the armchair to Tony’s left, looking tired and worn. Tony tossed him a blanket from the back of the sofa and he smiled gratefully as he spread it over himself. 

Bucky and Steve came last, each with arms filled full of popcorn bowls and other snacks, which they placed on the table set in the middle of them all. 

Tony raised his arms, making grabby hands at Steve. 

Steve smiled, lifting Tony with ease and sitting down on the sofa with the genius in his lap. Tony snuggled against his chest, curling around him like a cat. Steve, very happy with the situation, pressed a kiss to Tony’s temple and ran a comforting hand down his back. 

“You’ll warm up soon, baby,” he murmured, sighing contentedly when Tony nuzzled his neck. 

“You’re a pair of bloody saps,” Bucky muttered, sitting down beside Steve and patting his thighs for Tony to put his legs out. Tony smiled at him, ignoring the comment as he got himself comfortable. 

Once upon a time, his lab had been his happy place. 

Now that he knew how it felt to be wrapped up in Steve’s arms with their team, their  _ family,  _ surrounding them, he had to wonder if he’d ever even understood what happiness really was. 


End file.
